The Ultimate Shortcut to Heaven

I was on my way for Kayaking the past weekend when I came across few gentlemen(of all age groups) riding their bikes towards a Blood Donation camp, One kid probably missed and was desperately looking for someone to give him a lift, I stopped by and asked the young lad to hop on and dropped him at the camp.

It din't take me long to realize that the White shirt, Khadi trousers wearing people belonged to RSS or Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh. 
"So how long since you are with the Shakha?", I asked out of curiosity.
" Around 8 months, he replied".. "My father asked me to join them", he replied in his innocent tone.
"That's nice, So what do you do at the Shakha's?', I asked him continuing the conversation.

"We meet at the local community center and they teach us Vyayam and Yoga and we sometimes volunteer for social causes" he said while being totally distracted during the conversation.

Finally we reached the camp and the kid got down, i asked the kid his name and he replied "Munna", i asked him for his real name and he replied "Basheer.. Sheikh", my jaws had dropped when i asked him "You are a Muslim?'(Something I've never asked anyone, coz it really never bothered or mattered). He was like "Haan", still distracted and eager to join his comrades, I told him i'll give him a chocolate if he answered my questions, he denied talking to a stranger and told me "I have to go, my Abbu is waiting" and ran away.

It took me few minutes to come out of the thought and I researched about it, Yes RSS is the world's largest voluntary organization(50 Lakh Volunteers) and Yes it had a Muslim Rashtriya Manch - a wing for muslims who lived on Nationalist Ideals. Considering the recent set of events ranging from Dadri lynching to Anti-Beef activists death to politicians condemning it or provoking it. I thought to myself, "What could go wrong with a 90 year old organization that fought against the British, Volunteered during 1962, 1965 and 1971 War, organized and rescued people during so many natural calamities". What could go wrong with people blaming the RSS so much so that it is compared to Taliban?. I even remember my grandfather telling me "Had there not been RSS in India, lot of Hindus and Sikh families would have never made it to India during Partition".

I remembered a conversation with a Muslim friend, a mentor and a dear friend after being 180 ml down. It seemed rational and from someone who was well educated,  was doing his Ph.d then.
"What has the government done for us?' he asked slightly typsy after his last glass.
"Yes, the quota system has ruined us", i said with my glass of Lime Mojito(My regular drink).
"No, for us Muslims, what has the government done for us?" he asked.
"Why are you talking like Owaisi's!! I think you should stop drinking now", i told him taking his glass away.
"No!! I have not had a single benefit of being in this country", he exclaimed with the alcohol levels rising in his blood.
"Tho meri kaunsi Aarti Utari hai P.M ne?, I've had the same benefits as you", i spoke.
"Isse acha tho mai Saudi ya Dubai hi chala jaata!!, at least Paisa and Zaat tho hothi", he exclaimed down with 240 ml now.
I dint truly understand what he was saying and he passed out, while i dropped him back home. I later learnt from him that some Maulana had come to his place to revive his faith and preached him on being Pious.

The two instances stated show 2 sides of the same coin, Are we 125 crore Democratic Republic Indians who have survived years of Foreign rule just to end up fighting each other over "Beef"??. Why should every speech on Hinduism or Islam start with "We are in Danger" or "Kayamat aane wali hai??", I might not know much about religions but I know Judgement day won't come because of God's fault or God's wrath but because of You and Me.
And I'm definitely sure God doesn't allow killers in Vaikunth, Swarg, Jannat or Heaven

Secret Confessions of a Smart Modi-Hating Secularist

I don't care if the Indian Economy grew by 7.3% in 2015 and  Rs. 3770 crores of Black Money was brought back into India or 2.45 Lakh Jobs were created in the Past year or some stupid Index called "Inflation" (CPI) came down to 4.37%.

FDI inflow might have increased to $44.9 Billion (up by 24.5%) but that is only because Modi keeps visiting countries and taking selfies. What is this "Swach Bharat", "Digital India", "Make in India", "Beti Bachao", "Jan Dhan Yojana", nothing works, I dint even take that crappy "LPG Subsidy", in spite of some 10 Lakh families going for it.


 Where are the "Acche Din"??  All I see is the nation in turmoil, Bans everyday, riots everywhere. I am never going to vote for Modi because



1) Modi banned Maggi

So what if Maggi had higher levels of Lead and MSG(Mono-Sodium Glutamate) content and was considered harmful by the Food Safety Authority of India(FSAI), Modi and Right wing activists banned Maggi.

2) Modi banned Beef in India

So what if a 20 year old Bill passes in Maharashtra banning Cow slaughter and its products, though I have Buffalo, Ox and Bull Meat I shall still not vote for Modi, because Hindu Zionists banned Beef, Though I am smart enough to differentiate between Cow meat and other Bovine meats, it is against my Fundamental Rights. And What if more than Half this Country revers  Cow as their Mother because Cow Milk is equated to a Mother feeding her baby, Beef is my Fundamental right and I can't adjust on Buffalo, Ox or Bull Meat instead.


3) Modi banned Porn because he is single

So what it was a meager step to control Illegal Child Pornography in India, watching Porn is my fundamental right, So what if 37% of the 90 Million websites in the world are Porn websites, I want those 857 URL's to be unblocked in India, though most of the websites i generally visit are working fine it affects my fundamental right to free will.


4) Modi Banned Meat in Mumbai

Even Jains have joined the Hindu-Zionist Band wagon and want meat banned for 4 days.. Imagine 4 days of my life without Meat!!! So what if mid-day meals are banned in Kerala during Ramzan because Muslim kids would find hindrance in fasting, this is India, not a developed European country where such a ban could be considered on Environmental and Conversational Grounds. Paryushan is for Jains to follow absolute abstinence as much as possible in order to clean their mind and body of negative thoughts, not for me, its my fundamental right.

This is what a 4 day non consecutive meat ban could do to me

5) Modi and Hindu Zionists conspire to Kill Beef Eaters

One gentleman Mohammed Ikhlakh lost his life because a mob of 120 armed men stormed his house only after hearing calls over the temple loudspeaker, his Zionist Hindu neighbors tried to save him but couldn't save him and his son was brutally injured. His elder son Mohammed Taj called for politicians to stop politicizing his father's death , maintain harmony and even asked politicians not to visit them but politicians showered lakhs of rupees to garner vote-bank politics and kept giving provocative speeches like "I've eaten Beef, do what you can!", instead of feeling sorry for the gentleman and his family, I shall blame Modi over the incident.



6) Modi did Gujarat riots 2002:

This is my forte, I shall use this forever against him just because he started off as a Swayam Sevak. So what if in the below video telecast-ed just after the riots he says, Anyone who breaks the Law and order situation shall be punished and anyone who dreams of committing such a Heinous crime shall be punished, Modi did Godhra riots and Maya Kodnani case was just a Gimmick to cover up things. Smart you see.

7) International Yoga Day, Salman Khan Verdict, Yacub Memon Hanging, 7/11 Accused hanging are Hindutva Motivated Ideologies and acts :


"Forcing" me to do Yoga was a grave act in democracy, though 20 crore people world-wide participated, I din't do it but I ensured i comment on it and call it Right-Wing Motivated.

Salman Khan a.k.a Bhai was only targeted because he was a Muslim and Modi did it.

Yacub Memon was an innocent Chartered Accountant who din't know where his money was being invested, I wish to believe his wife's story rather than the Supreme Court's story because that's how masala movies are.

All these reasons have strengthened my angst towards Modi and I will only vote for a Leader in the  next elections who believes in Increasing Quota as his Election winning agenda, wears a skull cap to appease minorities or provides free subsidy schemes to increase the Government's debts. That's how Politics and Politicians should be in India.